“What should I say?” A guide to answering pregnancy and adoption questions

Expectant parents often worry about what to say when answering pregnancy and adoption questions from people in their community. What about when their mom’s friend wants to get the baby a gift? Or their boss asks about a name? How should they explain their adoption plans?

Answering pregnancy and adoption questions can also be difficult after the delivery. The counselors at Legacy Adoption Services work closely with our expectant parents to help prepare them for those inevitable social dilemmas.

Answering pregnancy and adoption questions before the baby is born

We find the best way to go about answering pregnancy and adoption questions is to first come up with a plan. Reducing the chances of being caught off guard can feel like an important safety net. Our Texas adoption agency helps our expectant parents think through the following questions.

• Who will know the details of your adoption plan? This is often a very small group made up of highly trusted and encouraging people. You can certainly count on your Legacy counselor, but you might also include your partner, parents, a best friend or a sibling as well. It is also wise to include your OBGYN.
• What language do you want to use with everyone else? Most expectant mothers tell us answering pregnancy and adoption questions is easiest when they stick to simple facts. For example, say, “The baby is due in October,” and then change the subject.

You can also answer vaguely with, “I’m not sure yet,” if you don’t feel comfortable giving more details to the curious party at that time. If you decide you do want to include them in your plans, you can always fill them in after you’ve had the chance to think it over. But giving yourself a verbal cushion in the meantime can be very helpful.

Answering pregnancy and adoption questions after the baby is born

After your delivery, you get to decide how to proceed. Sometimes, you might answer questions with simply, “The delivery went well, and the baby is healthy. Thanks for asking.” Your adoption counselor can help you come up with responses you feel comfortable with, so you’re prepared when you need to be.

You can also take pride in your beautiful and selfless choice. You might be surprised by the positive responses you get from telling others you chose to place your baby for adoption with a loving couple who had been longing for a child for years. You don’t need to explain your reasons for choosing adoption. However, telling others about the love and strength involved in your decision might inspire them. Our Texas adoption agency has seen this happen countless times, and it is always a refreshing thrill to witness.

For help with answering pregnancy and adoption questions, call or text us at 214-380-0888.