Expecting parent fears, and how to find peace

Every parent-child relationship has ups and downs. Children’s feelings about their parents can be complex, and can vary greatly depending on age, gender, personality and life stage. This holds true for adopted children’s feelings toward their biological parents as well. Their feelings are often complicated and can change over time. They can also change as they mature, ask questions about adoption, and better understand their adoption story. It’s normal for expecting parent fears to include worries about their future relationship with their child, and our Texas adoption counselors are here to help.

Common expecting parent fears

Many expecting parent fears include the idea that their children might hate or resent them. Choosing adoption is not easy, and while no one can predict how a child will respond to their biological parents as they grow older, most adoptees over the age of five report having positive feelings about them.

Every adoption story is different, but there are common threads among them. Adopted children often ask questions about adoption that can help them find peace with their birth story.

• Many come to recognize the courage in their biological parent’s decision to place them for adoption.
• They understand the difficulty of their birth circumstances, and that adoption was intended to provide the best outcome for them.
• Some may have conflicting feelings that can lead to hesitation about developing a relationship with the parents who brought them into the world.
• Many have a desire for connection with their birth family.
• Most adopted people want to know their birth family’s history and culture.
• Some are interested in gathering information from their biological parents. For example, knowing about their family medical history may be important to them.

Be patient as kids ask questions about adoption

As with a traditional parent-child relationship, expecting parents will often have to use their maturity and life experience to be patient with their child’s timeframe. One of the best things you can do for your relationship with your child is to allow them the time they need to build the relationship. You may have expecting parent fears, but remember that they also have fears, emotions and questions, and may have lived with them for a long time.

Our Texas adoption agency understands expecting parents’ fears and encourages you to seek out resources to gain the skills to build a relationship with your children. You selflessly put their needs above yours when you place them for adoption. This is an opportunity to continue to show your love for them by helping them work through their feelings and emotions, while building a relationship.

Legacy Adoption Services is available to help you work through expecting parent fears. We can help you navigate these relationships through our Texas adoption counselors, support groups and other resources. Contact us to learn more.