As a birth mother considering adoption, many things can seem uncertain and up in the air. But know that when going through an adoption service, you are in charge of every detail, and while it is easy to go through binders full of prospective families as you are deciding to choose, a portfolio can only tell you so much. There is a need to meet with the adopting family you choose to make sure you have made the right decision for both your child and the relationship you yearn to have in the future.
However, knowing what to talk about with these couples can be intimidating and potentially uncomfortable. So to make your meeting go on without a hitch, here are some questions to ask that will help you learn more about their lifestyle and family unit.
Why did you choose adoption, especially infant adoption?
The families that choose to adopt are quite vast — 70.2% of couples are married families, 22.7% are single females, 5.5% are single males, and 1.6% are unmarried couples. Each person will have their own unique story to share, and their answer will help you understand a little bit more about why they have chosen to embark on this journey with you.
Tell me about yourselves as a couple.
If you are interviewing a couple, it is always a good idea to hear how they met and learn how they interact on a daily basis. It is also a great idea to have the couple tell you about the other partner, as you can learn more this way!
Explain to me your family dynamic.
Do they have children? Do they live near their family, and will your child have cousins to play with? What about pets, neighbors, family friends and coworkers? How do they spend their holidays?
What are your plans for the child’s education?
It is never a bad idea to figure out where the adopting parents stand with the child’s education. For instance, do they have a school district picked out, or are they starting a college fund? This question doesn’t have to be a large factor in your decision but can be something to consider.
Do you know anyone who has been adopted or who has adopted a child?
Oftentimes, if the prospective parents know someone who has adopted or is adopted, they will have a different perspective on the entire process than someone who does not. They may be able to share some thoughts and feelings about this person’s adoption that can go on to shape yours.
In our next blog post, we will continue our list of questions for birth mothers to ask adopting parents.
