The truth about adoption is that you are not giving up your baby

You have probably heard the term giving up your baby when referring to an expectant mother’s choice to place her child for adoption. This is an outdated term that we as Texas adoption specialists are eager to expel from popular vocabulary. You are not giving up your baby.

The correct way to refer to a mother’s adoption decision is to say that she is placing her baby for adoption. This phrase demonstrates the level of ownership and intentionality it takes for an expectant mother to choose adoption for her child.

You are not giving up your baby

The early 20th century saw the creation of the first specialized adoption agencies. The social workers at these agencies often handled the matching process. Perhaps, this is where the term giving up your baby was born.

The process was completely closed, meaning the adoptive parents did not know who the child’s birth mother was. In turn, the birth mother would never know what became of her child. Oftentimes, the child would even grow up never learning they were adopted.

This situation produced tragic results. Parents kept lifelong secrets from their children. Birth mothers never fully recovered from their grief. And adoptees struggled with major issues around identity and acceptance.

Placing your baby for adoption

In the early 1970s, new research indicated that an open adoption was much healthier for children, birth mothers and adoptive families. Over time, adoption professionals began using the term placing your baby for adoption to indicate this change.

Our Texas adoption agency advocates for these modern practices. They have produced fruitful results for millions of adoptive families, birth parents and adoptees.

• You are not giving up your baby when it comes to adoption. An expectant mother makes an intentional choice for herself and her child. She is free to remain uninfluenced by the input of her parents, community and in some cases, her partner.
• The expectant mother can receive free and impartial unplanned pregnancy counseling in order to make an informed decision. She has the right to change her mind about her adoption decision up until she terminates custody.
• She chooses her child’s parents and decides how much contact she will have with them before and during her child’s birth. She and the chosen couple come up with a plan for ongoing communication after the adoption. They establish a special relationship built on mutual trust and respect.

If you are an expectant mother considering placing your baby for adoption, we are available to talk 24 hours a day at (214) 380-0888. Call us to learn more about modern adoption practices.