Answering unwelcomed questions about your child’s adoption while celebrating your family
The adoption process and bringing your baby home is exciting. Don’t let unwelcomed questions about your child’s adoption keep you from celebrating your family. People ask questions because they are uninformed, curious or just nosy. At our Texas adoption agency, we know that the way you answer their questions affects you and your child, so choosing to remain positive is usually the best approach for your family.
What kinds of unwelcomed questions about your child’s adoption do people ask?
The questioning begins as soon as you say you are adopting a child. Questions range from the cost of adoption to the ethnic or racial heritage of the birth parents. When your baby comes home and is out and about, people may ask if the child is your “real” child. If you are an older parent, someone may ask if you are the baby’s grandparent. You may get all manner of rude questions, but there are ways of answering that keep the conversation civil.
Three ways to answer questions while celebrating your family
Here are three positive ways you and your child can respond to inquiries.
Just say no. It’s fine to politely say that you don’t want to share private information about your child. Assure the questioners that you and your family are happy and blessed.
Share general information to help people learn about adoption. You can answer unwelcomed questions about your child’s adoption in a generalized way, gently correcting negative terms and sharing positive adoption language.
For example, if someone asks you why the mother “gave the child up,” you can tell them that the birth mother decided to make an adoption plan for her child because she loved the child and wanted the best for him or her. Sometimes questions can be a learning and growing opportunity for everyone involved.
Share part or all of your story so that people understand your joy and can share in celebrating your family. Depending on who is asking the question, the type of question asked and other factors, you may choose to share all or part of your story. Talking about your beautiful adoption process is a way of celebrating your family. Just because your story is different from a birth parent’s pregnancy and birth story doesn’t mean it is any less special. Share the love if you feel the time is right!