Legacy Adoption Services

First Meeting Tips

If you want to avoid the lull, try coming up with topics or questions beforehand that you can fall back on if the conversation seems to be slowing down. Ask her about her hobbies, TV shows, sports, music, etc. If she seems open to discussing personal details, ask questions about her family, job, school, favorite foods, and goals. Let her know that you are truly interested in her as a person, and not just as expectant mother. It’s important to remember that this isn’t a job interview, so don’t grill her. Be careful and aware of the terminology you use if the subject of adoption is brought up. Try not to use the term “birth mother,” and be careful with the way you refer to the baby.

Be honest. Don’t be afraid to answer questions truthfully; not doing so could lead to pain down the road.  Try not to force things. If it doesn’t seem like you agree on a lot of things, that’s okay! Don’t panic just because your hobbies and interests don’t seem to line up. It’s easier said than done, but it’s always a good idea to leave expectations out of the equation.

Remind yourself before the meeting that the expectant mother already chose to meet you. She sees something in you that she connects with! Most of all, it is important to remember that you are both there because you have the unborn child’s best interest at heart. Be compassionate, kind, patient, and loving. Everything is going to be okay!

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