“What if she doesn’t like us? What if we don’t like her? Are we going to have anything to talk about?”
Ever been on a first date with someone you’ve only ever talked to over the phone and read about on paper? If you have, you probably asked these questions (and many more) in the days/weeks leading up to the date. You probably agonized over all the “what if” situations that your brain could conjure up. Neither my husband or I had ever been on a blind date, so when it came time for our first meeting with the expectant mom who chose us as her adoptive couple, we were EXTREMELY nervous.
We knew there would be a certain amount of uncertainty and awkwardness, and we were anxious to keep those levels at a minimum. We felt a heightened sense of pressure because we told ourselves that the success or failure of the adoption plan could be decided by the meeting.
We kept reminding ourselves to take a deep breath every time we got too caught up in the “what ifs.”
While it is natural and important to want to make a good impression, we had to try and take some of the pressure off of ourselves. We knew our expectant mom was probably feeling just as nervous as we were, so we tried to remind ourselves that we simply needed to be ourselves. It was comforting to know that our agency counselor and the executive director would be at the meeting, and we knew they would both work hard to make sure the conversation started again if there was a lull.
As we drove down for our meeting, I’m sure I drove my husband crazy with more of those awful “what if” situations that always pop up when you are approaching something that is unknown. However, we both grew quieter the closer we got to the restaurant. When we got out of the car, I had to stop and take another deep breath, attempting to calm my nerves. I clutched my husband’s hand as we walked across the parking lot and through the doors of the restaurant. We spotted the expectant mom at once, and headed straight toward her. I remember thinking, “Would it freak her out if I gave her a hug?” I made up my mind right before we got to the table, deciding I’d stick with a safe handshake for our first introduction. I was struck by how beautiful and brave she was as we were introduced, and I had to work hard to keep tears from running down my face.
The first few minutes were slightly awkward as we tried to get a feel for how the conversation was going to go, but we ended up having a wonderful lunch together. Once our counselor and the executive director broke the ice for us, we watched the expectant momma open up and tell us about her story. Our conversation flowed naturally, and by the end of the meal, we felt such a connection to this mom. We took a picture together and said our good-byes (I felt comfortable enough to go for a hug this time).
By the time we got back into our car, my husband and I both heaved sighs of relief. The meeting went better than we ever could have imagined, and we were thrilled to have learned more about this beautiful expectant mom. We had been praying for her for months, and we couldn’t wait to begin praying for more specific things now that we knew more about her. It was an unforgettable experience, and we are so thankful that we didn’t miss out on the opportunity because of the worries we had beforehand.
