I have always longed to be a mommy. It was not long after I married Jeff in 2005, that we eagerly tried to have a baby. It seemed everyone around us was having babies and play-dates, but we were still trying. A year later, we visited our doctor and started In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), then Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), and then IVF again. Our last IVF was unsuccessful with less than 5% chance we could ever conceive on our own. I screamed and broke down; we would be alone and unable to have the gift of children.
After being more than discouraged, we explored other options. We thought about adoption, but my Aunt and Uncle waited 10 long years for their successful adoption. We knew we didn’t want to wait that long so, we continued praying and working. Later that week, while taking a shower, I felt a lump between my armpit and left breast. I thought it to be nothing but Jeff expressed his concern, so we made the appointment together. My mammogram revealed breast cancer. Grief and tears overwhelmed me; I’m going to die without ever having the joy of being a mother.
As doctor visits began to consume my schedule, they discovered a large tumor hanging from my kidney. The surgeon asked if we wanted to try to save my eggs immediately, but doing so would delay removal of the tumor. As a couple, we talked about it, but neither of us could make this decision. Our kidney doctor was petrified that the tumor would multiply, so he made the decision we couldn’t. That was the most devastating thing that could ever happen. I cried in the shower for an hour, mourning the death of our unborn children. Becoming a mother was more than a dream of mine; it became part of my identity. How would an agency allow us to adopt a baby if I have cancer?
I started treatment while simultaneously contacting agencies. Our first match was the most precious mother and daughter I had ever seen! I wanted to adopt HER right there! We kept contact throughout the pregnancy. However, she decided to parent. Although it hurt, I knew it was best because at my current level of Chemo, I couldn’t care for a newborn.
My husband and I continued to stay strong. We came across Adoption Open Orientation so I grabbed my wig and drove to Dallas. I met several agencies, telling them we had more than love for a baby and please, don’t punish us for my situation. Finally, we were given a chance, but paperwork had to be done in a week. Our friends came over and completed the pages of our scrapbook while Jeff and I completed the forms. We prayed over our box as we waited in line and the FedEx employees prayed with us!
One day, we received a call from a birth mom in Arkansas. My doctor rearranged my radiation so I could fly to Arkansas one day and fly back for radiation the day after. We flew back and forth until 9 days after baby Gage was born. Then we drove him home. It was such an amazing and rewarding experience. All of our prayers kept our family strong and helped us grow. We were blessed to adopt our second son last August.
This whole journey was a miracle; I have no shame in infertility thanks to our two birth mothers. Birth mothers are very precious to us. We honor them because, they gave us the most precious gift in the world and we couldn’t be parents without them. We’ve already told Gage, now 5, with that he was created for us because mommy’s tummy was broken. We are so proud of adoption and believe this was all part of God’s plan for us to adopt these two wonderful boys.
