Even when my family threw me a baby shower, I still wasn’t sure my husband and I were going to be able to do this. I was 6 months pregnant with a one-year-old at home. I had stopped working because of how tough the pregnancy was on me and we had just moved to Texas for my job. I just kept going through my pregnancy like nothing was wrong but I feared for my baby’s future.

My culture does not condone adoption but in my heart, both my husband and I knew, that’s what we would decide. Before you know it, I was contracting and on my way to the hospital. When they handed me my angel they said, “here she is.” My heart dropped. Tears overwhelmed me and my husband grabbed my hand. We called an agency and after talking with the counselor in person, the adoptive family was on the way. It was so hard to let her go but the minute I saw the adoptive parents look at her, I knew.

My adoption was beautiful but the aftermath—I’m not going to lie, it hurt. Stephanie, my counselor met with me as often as I wanted but we both knew that she couldn’t completely understand where was coming from. I was thrilled to death when Stephanie said there’s another birth mom that is also struggling and would love to talk to someone who’s been through it. I didn’t even know that they could do that but I jumped at the opportunity.

I was kind of nervous the morning we were to meet but the moment the birth mom walked into the room, I had a rush of comfort sweep over me. Stephanie had us introduce ourselves and talk a little bit about our pregnancy and then our delivery day. It was amazing to hear that I wasn’t alone. I’m not the only person that has other kids that had nine months with her baby and decided not to take that baby home. The other birth mother had a girl too. We talked about that together and how hard it was; we both teared up. I cannot tell you how amazing it felt to feel heard and … to be related to you. I also love that my counselor was there too because it was an experience that I needed and I’ll never forget.