…were it not for her, I would not have my most precious younger daughter. Period.
I don’t think Tina realizes it, but were it not for her, I would not have my most precious younger daughter. Period. I met Tina a number of years ago, when both our older children were preschoolers. We probably lived somewhat near each other, because we kept running into each other at Kindermusik and our kids’ swimming classes. She also had a baby, but I just had the one child, and longed for a sibling for my daughter. One day, while I admired Tina’s baby and confessed my own struggles and disappointments in trying to expand my family, she mentioned that she was a social worker and worked with adoptive families. I had shied away from domestic adoption until then. I had heard awful horror stories about adoptions falling through, about birthmothers never choosing the family, about very open adoptions being the only option. At that point, though, we had been through failed fertility treatments, and had had our international adoption process interrupted by policy changes, and I despaired of ever adding another child to our family.
It might have been a very casual comment for Tina, but she did encourage me to give domestic adoption a try. I was still hesitant, but decided that I could try one last time, but only because someone I knew would be holding my hand in the process. I signed on with the agency, and Tina became our home study counselor.
I don’t think the adoption process is easy or pleasant for anyone involved. I assume that it is a very difficult time for the birth mother. For the adoptive family, the process is often long, stressful, intrusive, and expensive, but necessary in order to ensure that each child is being placed in a loving, stable, permanent home. Tina did indeed hold our hands. Her work with our family was calm, kind, and respectful. She made the home study process as unintimidating and dignified as possible, and I would say that each member of our family found our time together to be pleasant.
Our final stage of the process with Tina was just days after our daughter was born, as she was completing reports necessary for placement. It was a joy and privilege to watch her hold my precious new daughter, and to think about the path we had traveled, how Tina had helped to make it possible, and how the end result had been so worth all we had been through.
~Thank you, Tina!
