My girlfriend is pregnant, what are our options?
An unplanned pregnancy is exactly that, unplanned, accidental and unintended. Though the emotions that follow can be immeasurable, do not let them consume you. You have options, including abortion, parenting and adoption. As those options run through your mind, please understand that none of those options will be easy. There will not be an easy option at this point, but how you choose to handle this pregnancy will affect the rest of your life.
You have options
Abortion: Many men and women believe that abortion is the easy way out, but it is far from easy. You must consider procedure type, cost, pain and risks when contemplating abortion. The emotional distress that follows an abortion is unimaginable. If your girlfriend does not want an abortion do not push her to have one. Do your research and realize how an abortion could affect her emotionally and physically.
Parenting: Most people will choose to parent when they find out they are pregnant. However, the excitement of a baby can often mask the hardships that follow raising a child. Think back to your childhood, what challenges did your parents face? Are you prepared to face challenges? Pregnancy, planned or not, can bring hardships. A baby is a blessing, but not always an easy blessing. Are you prepared to make sacrifices for your child? Here are some basic questions to think about when considering parenting.
- What are your living situations? Is it safe and clean enough for a baby?
- Will the child be raised in a single parent home?
- How much does raising a child cost?
- Do you have medical insurance?
- What do you want out of life?
- How will a child change your future plans?
- How do you feel about working nights, weekends and holidays?
Parenting is not a bad option, but it is not the right option for everyone. Having a baby is expensive and exhausting. If you and your partner are planning on taking on this pregnancy alone, brace yourself for a whirlwind. Though it is not impossible to be great and wonderful parents, it will not be easy. Consider your child’s happiness and well-being as you consider your options.
Adoption: For many years adoption has been viewed negatively. As a male, you might feel that adoption is abandoning your child and real men don’t abandon their children. Adoption is not abandonment though. It is a selfless act to do what is best for your child and their future. It is natural to focus on how you want this pregnancy to affect you, but it is important to put your child first. Adoption will still be hard, but it will allow you and your girlfriend to continue living your lives and allow your child to grow up in a stable home. Modern adoption plans allow you to select the family for your child, get pictures of them and even visits. Adoption can be a new beginning for everyone involved in an unplanned pregnancy.
Don’t do it alone!
This is an overwhelming process and not a decision to be made alone. Lean on each other, do your research and ask for guidance. At Legacy Adoption Services, we provide FREE confidential options counseling for both dad’s and mom’s in an unplanned pregnancy situation.
Contact a Legacy Options Counselor now by phone, chat or email to begin this necessary discussion. Talking to a counselor means you want help learning about options. Legacy is available 24/7 to help you.