How can I help when my best friend is pregnant but doesn’t want to be?
“My best friend is pregnant and is confiding in me. The pregnancy is unplanned, and she’s not sure if she wants to keep the baby, or if she may need an adoption agency in Texas. Of course I want to help support a pregnant friend, but I’m not sure what to say or do.”
When a friend is facing an unexpected pregnancy, support and love from a trusted friend means the world. Our experienced counselors suggest several ways that you can support your best friend during this time of confusion and worry.
When your best friend is pregnant, she needs a good listener
It’s natural for your friend to feel a wide range of emotions. She may be uncertain and afraid, and she may also feel a protective motherly instinct for the baby she is carrying. It can all feel confusing and upsetting, and she’ll need someone she can trust to listen to what is in her heart and keep it confidential.
Let her tell you how she is feeling. Be fully present and keep the focus on her. Try not to interrupt or voice your opinion too strongly. Encourage her to talk about what she wants and needs, as well as her worries, hopes and fears.
The decision about what to do next is hers, and it is a heavy responsibility. She will need to lean on you in the days and weeks ahead. When your best friend is pregnant, you can help her find the strength and courage she needs to handle this unplanned pregnancy maturely.
Be her ally and cheerleader
We all need encouragement, and during times of uncertainty we need it even more. Encourage your friend, and simply be there for her during this time. Being a great friend calls for strength in times of adversity, and she may need someone to be her rock.
Healthy relationships are built on good communication, acceptance and empathy. When your best friend is pregnant, imagine what it is like to be in her shoes, and seek to understand. Respect and support her opinions and perspectives, and help her find the help she may need.
Encourage her to talk to an objective adviser who can help her think about the big picture and plan for the future. Our experienced counselors are available 24/7 to help her navigate her feelings, find resources and learn about all of her options.
Educate yourself to best support a pregnant friend
Educate yourself about pregnancy, the realities of parenting, and how adoption works, so that you can understand how she is feeling and the choices ahead of her. By educating yourself, you can help her understand her options, talk through them and make the best decision for her and her baby.
She is now making choices that affect two people, and it can feel overwhelming. Gently ask questions that may help her orient herself during this confusing time. “Tell me what makes you…” or “Would you mind helping me understand what you mean when you say…” are good ways to start.
Be understanding, but honest
When your best friend is pregnant, you may feel like she is avoiding the issue or is mired in confusion and not moving forward. She may need time to process what is happening. Don’t push her to act quickly or rashly. She will need to live with her decisions for the rest of her life, and she needs you to walk alongside her and support her, wherever she is in this journey.
This situation is hard, but it’s real, and it involves difficult conversations and choices. So, always support a pregnant friend with honesty. Speak the truth in a loving manner. Offer to help her get a plan together and prepare for the baby.
Whether she is considering keeping the baby or might need an adoption agency in Texas, we have counselors ready to help with these tough conversations. We will never pressure your friend to choose adoption. Instead, our goal is to ensure that she has accurate information about every option before her, so that she can make the choices that bring her the most peace.
Contact a Legacy counselor now by phone, chat or email to begin this necessary discussion. We are available and ready to talk any time, day or night.
