My best friend is pregnant.
She is scared and turning to you, but has asked you to keep it a secret. Are you unsure how to help and what to tell your friend? Below are a few ways you can help support your best friend during her unplanned pregnancy.
Listen
First things first, listen to her. Let her tell you how she is feeling and what she is most scared of. Be fully present and keep the focus on her. Try not to interrupt or voice your opinion to loudly. Listen to how she describes her feelings and talk about what she wants. As her friend, you can help her find the strength and courage she needs to handle this unplanned pregnancy maturely.
Encourage her
We all need encouragement and during times of uncertainty we tend to need it more. Encourage your friend and let her lean on you during this time. You may feel overwhelmed and inadequate to handle this situation, but imagine how she is feeling. Being a great friend calls for strength in times of adversity. Healthy relationships are built on good communication, acceptance and empathy. Allow yourself to imagine what it would be like to be in her shoes and seek to understand. Respect her opinions and perspectives. Also, encourage her to talk to an adult or counselor as well. It is great to have a best friend to lean on, but having an adult who can help her think about the big picture would be very beneficial.
Educate yourself
Take the time to educate yourself and put yourself in her shoes. It is easy to form a rash opinion when you are not the one experiencing the unplanned pregnancy. You might be thinking, “why is she so upset?” “why does she think her life is over?” or “why can’t she just make up her mind?” Realize that your friend is now making decisions that affect two people. She has a lot on her mind and it can be overwhelming. It is okay to question though. Use softening statements to explain your confusion. “Tell me what makes you…” or “Would you mind helping me understand what you mean when you say…” Talking without interrogation allows for respectful discussions and more clarification for both of you. If you take the time to educate yourself on the topic, you can help her understand her options, talk through them and then help her make the best decision.
Respond
As best friends, there are times when we can grow frustrated with each other. Especially, if it is a situation we disagree on. There might come a time when you are upset with your friend, because she seems to be putting off her pregnancy. However, take the time to realize that she is not ready to face the situation. It can be daunting to think about life as a teen mom or a single mom. She might be scared, but be cautious about telling her what she should or should not do. Rather, relate to her and be aware of how challenging her situation is. You might offer to help her get a plan together and prepare for the baby. The best thing you can do for your friend is speak the truth in a loving manner.
If you would like to educate yourself on the different options please follow this link .
At Legacy Adoption Services, we provide FREE confidential options counseling for both dads and moms in an unplanned pregnancy situation. Contact a Legacy Options Counselor now by phone, chat or email to begin this necessary discussion. Talking to a counselor means you want help learning about options. Legacy is available 24/7 to help you.
