Telling others about adoption plans can be tricky. We can help
Many pregnant moms feel nervous about telling others about adoption plans. You may worry that your parents won’t approve, or that your friends will not understand. You may even find yourself needing a response to a friendly stranger in the grocery store. Our Texas adoption service can help. We have deep experience in helping women handle these sensitive conversations, and we can guide you through what to expect and how to respond so that you go into these conversations with a solid plan.
First, the counselors at our Texas adoption service take their time to get to know you, so that we have a good handle on your needs, personality and special circumstances. From there, we can help you create a strategy for telling others about adoption plans, so that you are better equipped to have conversations with your friends, family and others in your community.
Telling friends and family about your adoption decision
When you think about telling others about adoption plans, consider two groups of people. This includes those you know and love, and curious strangers or acquaintances that you may run into.
Our Texas adoption service recommends beginning with the people you believe will support your decision. Below are a few tips we encourage our parents to use throughout the process.
- Stand firm. This is your life, and the life of your baby. The decision about what is best for both of you is yours alone. Even if those around you push back on your choice, remember: You have good reasons why you are choosing adoption. Nobody should try to pressure you to change your mind.
- Consider who really needs details, and who doesn’t. For example, your family and best friend can better support you if they know what you are going through. However, an acquaintance just needs a simple response that lets you move right on through your day, without the need to give an extensive explanation.
- Use positive adoption language. Educate your friends and family members about the untrue and negative connotations of “giving up a baby for adoption.” Instead, teach them about modern adoption, in which pregnant moms lovingly place their baby for adoption. Reassure them that you will be able to personally chose your child’s adoptive parents, and that you can still be part of your child’s life if you choose to.
- Understand that negative reactions often come from fear. Let your friends and family members ask questions. Don’t blame yourself for their emotions. Give them time to process the news. Our counselors can be part of these conversations, if you feel that you need a little extra support.
- Allow your team to support you. Some people in your life will be there to support you, no matter what. Keep coming back to these people and allow them to encourage you.
Telling others about adoption plans
What about the lady in the grocery store who asks when you are due? Or the friend of a friend who asks about the gender of your baby? There is a simple answer: Pregnant moms do not need to tell others – especially strangers – about a personal adoption decision, unless they want to.
We find that giving short or vague responses, followed by exiting the conversation, helps most women navigate those inevitable questions from strangers. Often, simply telling others when you’re due or that you don’t know the gender is enough. It also helps to have some conversation-ending tricks ready, such as checking your phone, changing the subject or saying you’re in a hurry.
Remember: You are under no obligation to share personal or emotional details when it comes to telling others about adoption plans. Protecting your peace of mind should be your priority.
Our Texas adoption service is happy to help our pregnant moms through these types of situations, starting as soon as they make their adoption decision. Call us at (817) 704-0239 to begin talking with an adoption counselor.
